Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
