We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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