He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
