All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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