we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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