Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
