Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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