The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
