After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
