Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
