god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
