Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I have post one night stand depression
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