Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
