super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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