I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
