shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
