Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
