Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
