I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I touched a dick in church today
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