A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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