that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
