Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
