You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
