Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
