Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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