grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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