One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
wow bdsm is so cute
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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