no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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