I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
