I puked a lego.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
