do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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