Welp...herpes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
