Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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