The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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