Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
