Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?

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(925): View more from California

and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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(845): View more from New York

my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie

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(561): View more from Florida

he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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(425): View more from Washington

We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.

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(817): View more from Texas

Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.

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