I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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