i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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