i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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