ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
