Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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