Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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