So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
