the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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