I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
