glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
