is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
