return my video game
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
