Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
