wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
