After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
